This is stupid and not overly accurate.

This could probably get a plate in Florida, right?!?

You seem like a genuine piece of shit.

I hear that enough over at The Takeout! 

The ad says 5 speed.

Thank you. 

That may be fine, but it’s not a stringed instrument. 

My soldering skills may just be farther below average than I want to admit!

Good call, assuming better than average soldering skills are in place already.

This is list is invalid, as “getting hit by a bus” doesn’t make an appearance in the rankings.

Did you post this from a Canuckistani prison?

For well over a year.

The links in this story are dead, but I’m guessing this is your guy:

Need some help? Gotta let my liver know who’s in charge here.

You should probably read a bit more carefully. It’s not difficult.

I gave up on trying to find a Scotch that I like. Anything with so much as a hint of peat is not for me - I despise Scotch ales, too.

I don’t know how much difference it makes any more, but I figure it can’t hurt to flag the assholes. 

Check the comment history. That’s a racist troll.

Tell us you don’t know what “ironic” means…

No, and he’s better than ever over at the Autopian!