‘I forgive you, Giri.’

Remember: no Italian.

Better idea:

Plaintiff must realize he cannot treat well-settled law and undisputed facts like the women in his videos; they will not change simply because Plaintiff is persistent and impervious to their hostility.

Just like Bill Haisley!

“It sort of gave me a little bit of perspective, because technically I got grouped in with these people somehow,” Kjellberg said.

Okay, I fucking deserved that.

Really? You make a drug reference regarding how mellow Jamaica was and you pick Valium? JAMAICA?

I’m not Amish, just raising my kids that way. Really enjoy not having to share the computer with those bastards.

I come to Deadspin for dick jokes and absurdity. Diana’s reporting makes me feel better about it.

Irving has expressed that he wants to go play in a situation where he can be a more focal point

There’s a huge difference between the two, as Tracer would obviously never play with any balls

Given LA, you clearly didn’t look hard enough.

Fifth inning, one out.

You don’t really ‘rip’ a 295 foot homer so much as you ‘slowly and half-heartedly tear, as if you were bored or disinterested in the entire process’ one

That probably should have only been a double, but once the baking soda came into play, there was an extra base.

Apparently they played “Circle of Life” on repeat as they panned around the stadium and had people hold up their dogs like Simba:

It was not an upset. Last I saw, Venus was +109.

This is good kinja

This disgraceful show by all involved is an embarrassment to the quiet dignity and grace with which boxing has always carried itself. Don King must be spinning in his grave.