It would be great if he’s been just been plugging away all these years yearning for a platform to still break news and write columns, but also make dick jokes and ranked lists of candy bars, or whatever.

Overwatch now ranks players about 200 or 300 SR lower than their “actual” play grade. “We do that to give you a sense that you are improving over time,” he said

Might wanna check the last few lines of the post, buddy. (Admittedly, I failed to include any made-up dialogue between Bell and his pitcher. Very sorry if you felt put out by having to imagine that yourself.)

He Hate Me.

I used to work for PayPal and several other payment processors in the past, so I thought I’d stop and make a post about how chargebacks work through PayPal and other payment remitters. I haven’t worked in that industry in years, but from what I understand from old co-workers, it’s roughly the same policy-wise.

He was distracted by thinking about whether he needed to buy 3 different Father’s Day gifts since technically they’re all for the same guy.

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE! YOU CAN SQUEEZE THE ASPARAGUS JUICE RIGHT OUT OF THE ASPARAGUS!

Gandhi said be the change you wish to see in the world. Today I made a difference. Activism works. Thank you. Baccellieri 2020.

JonathanNathan, I promise you at least one (1) ski jumping blog in the coming months. Maybe even NEXT month, as the International Ski Federation Grand Prix 2017 starts then with competitions in Poland and Germany! (Men only, ladies don’t start until August, per my three seconds of research.) I’m learning already!!!!! 

Send us all your favorite ski jumping moments/storylines/athletes to watch! tips@deadspin.com. I would 100% blog about ski jumping.

Yeah, but in those two weeks Nadal did nothing to impress....

Can we agree that the topheavy margarita glass\martini glass is an awful design? I feel like they designed it knowing that there would be a good chance that the drinker would knock it over, thus needing to buy more booze.

BUT WAS THERE A SECOND JELL-O SHOOTER

this man is angry on the internet

I’m not saying the Ryan brothers are bad at defense, but they somehow already received life sentences for this.

Quick Math:
Mom:
Between bath and diaper changes, Mom probably saw my penis on average of 6X / day for first 3 years = 2,190 times. Bath and ass wipe help between ages of 3-5 average of 2X/day for ages 3-5. = 730. Total of approx. 2,290

“Mr. Snyder, this is Tony. I think I have an idea. Yes sir, it will save millions.”

When McEnroe first heard the news that Navratilova had announced she was gay, he was heard to yell, “OF COURSE SHE’S OUT! USE YOUR FUCKING EYES, ARE YOU BLIND? HOW COULD YOU SAY SHE WASN’T OUT WHEN SHE WAS CLEARLY OUT?!?!”