I gotta disagree here Tom. As a holder of a JD, I can tell you that advertising it rarely makes people like you.

Imagine going through all this trouble to play for Tottenham.

There are exactly zero alternate universes where David Moyes won the league with United.

I haven’t yelled obscenities at my screen so much since playing COD: MW2

How to start your day like Mocena:

It involves math, dude. Nothing* draws out apologists more than math confusion.

Kotaku readers sharpening their pitchforks in 3.......2........1.....

A second Toronto team? You mean to tell me there’s a first?

What would be great would be if Mr. & Mrs. Wayne arranged their estate so Bruce couldn’t touch the money, and had to continually convince his trust manager to buy this shit for him.

Yeah! Blood! I want lots and lots of blood!!

Except Aston Villa did not win the FA Cup.

Since we make forms from electronic files, it doesn’t even require white out. Just edit the file, hit save, et voila! Your form now says Parent 1 and Parent 2. Government of Arkansas, my consulting fee is $10M per hour, so your bill is $41,666.67 for the 15 seconds of work. Thank you. I take cash or check.

One of the main problems with appropriation is the way that when white women appropriate black features (or styles: see nail art, cornrows, etc), society suddenly treats these feature/styles as beautiful thanks to the transformative power of whiteness. So when Kylie posts a picture of her new lips and cornrows to…

You have managed to explain this to me both efficiently and will a great deal of clarity! You shall now stick around and be my official “translator of the youths”!

Vapid reality star who craves attention 24/7 vs. vapid model/actress/holier than thou hipster.

nothing, but a lot is wrong with stupid cookies, which are bad

YES FUCKING THANK YOU

I’m not sure what’s worse - seasoning it without trying it, or using the hipster excuse for hot sauce.

I feel like cookie dough is objectively more delicious than cookies. I don’t even feel like this statement is an opinion. Like, cookies are weird and dumb and frequently gross, crumbly pieces of shit (and even at best, they’re just tolerable), while cookie dough is an extension of the joy of the universe.

People who like red velvet cake are the same people who like ranch dressing.