That’s too nice... 

In my honest opinion, Santa looks like children want him to look

If my heart didn’t belong to the amazing Laverne Cox.... I’d be falling hard right now!

He’s getting ready to cosplay at the next con

The only intolerance we should have to tolerate is of the gluten and lactose variety.

Tis the perfect time of year to thrash thy schoolmates lockers

If those clothes aren’t 100% polyester I’m going to beat him with a bible.

And how the ever loving fuck would someone that can’t even make it out of a damn beanbag on their own, equipped with the worst possible center of gravity for sprinting, be able to escape?

But if his faith sent him there...... shouldn’t we be investigating Jesus?

Adding to that theory: They don’t actually want to save anyone, it’s just about them wanting to be hailed as heroes.

The Right;

Maybe you should take it with a grain of salt? Get it? Because my sense of humour is stone cold.......

Who is this child and why are they letting him sit at the adults table?

I can’t wait to see pro-lifers work hard to save those sweet, sacred babies!

Sounds like something I gotta try. Any meat best served rare has a place on my plate.

Hippity hoppity get off the school property 

That isn’t assault to them, it's a birthright.

“Should people throw cotton drenched in their own blood at guards?” is a question I never thought I’d be asking myself

We prefer the term ‘sun-disabled’

No touching at all? Even if it’s security? (I know he was off duty)