i’ve worked retail and i’ve owned my own coffeeshop - and i NEVER subscribed to the belief that the customer is ALWAYS right. this widely wielded, long-held belief has done more to hurt small businesses than help them. in the FEW instances where i saw a customer try to game my business, or treat one of my employees…

Also, just charge the guy for whatever he ordered, or the closest thing on the menu to what he ordered. What is this “just charge me for” whatever? Like, just charge me for the empty cup. I don’t get this part at all. You ordered X, you pay for X, or you pay for X minus whatever discount you have. Or just say the no…

They should have the same rule as those steakhouses with the crazy “enormous steak is free if you can eat it” challenges...if you can’t finish the whole thing, you have to pay the full price for it.

I was lucky enough to once work for a pizza place at which the owner didn’t put up with customer bullshit.

The one time I actually walked right off a job in the middle of my shift was at the FAO Schwarz in Water Tower Place in Chicago. Policy for all cashiers, no matter what (they told us), was to get a manager to complete the transaction if a customer presented a $100 or larger bill. I worked there for a while before this…

I had a customer throw a video game at me and start faking a heart attack in an attempt to get around a very clearly stated rule that you can’t return opened video games. She told us she was going to sue us for physical and emotional distress. We offered to call her an ambulance and all of a sudden she seemed fine,…

I don’t quite understand all the responses that are variations of “you sweet, innocent, naive, child...if only you knew”. There’s nothing wrong with anything you’re saying. Most of use have worked crappy customer service jobs, and had I been faced with that situation, perhaps the first few times you give in to the…

According to their website the birthday drink is a reward for just buying the card, no stars needed.

I disagree with this and think they would have zero problem with kicking him out. “The Customer Is Always Right’ is a long dead policy and is only ever quoted by disgruntled customers who are mostly wrong, usually pulling a scam.

Right. And how about “No. It was your birthday yesterday.” Go to another fucking Starbucks or take it up with our head office.

It all depends on the company too. Where I work, at least my specific branch, we are all about the customer until they cross the line and are scamming us. We basically rate our customers according to how much they spend or potentially will spend with us and do our best to work with them accordingly.

I so LOVE your columns. I have never worked in food service and because of you, never will. (Tho I think I would be decent at it. I’d be fired quickly).

ut damn, that also means he has to maintain 365 email addresses. All douchebaggery aside I am confused as to how he maintains this.

Eh, you could create 365 (366 really) different accounts that are numbered or somehow named to correspond to the days of the years. And you only need one password. You could forward all those accounts to one, and really it wouldn’t be that difficult. Dickish to be sure, though.

yeah, barista’s at Starbucks are generally a nice, over accommodating bunch. I once drove a product for a customer to a location 25 miles away just because I wanted to take a drive and it was near Xmas and was gonna make their day.

Can someone who doesn’t pay really be considered a customer?

That would be easy to do with a spreadsheet and probably an accordion folder or some shit. The initial set up would take a while but it would be easy to maintain.
(Not that I would ever do this, but if you’re a type A personality it wouldn’t be DIFFICULT.)

I mean, he COULD just use the same password for all the email accounts, and make the accounts different my a letter or number. Swiping through all of the cards in the app to get the exact birthday one would be a headache though.

Ridiculous orders are one thing. I can make/call out a drink with all ridiculous modifiers…

“I need a Venti cup and a marker.”

But is the dog ok now???