Ever heard of The Vortex? The owner is one of my favorite people, like, on the planet. Here are their policies, which includes this peach and many others:

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

If Cheeseburgers are vegetarian food, then I can say with all certainty that I can be a vegetarian.

so when the fifteen minutes was almost up and the woman started moaning like a porno starlet, the whole dining room could hear it even through doors and wall. There was a pretty unmistakable, “Oh God, I’m cumming” in there somewhere.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

I tip according to the normal price of my meal, plus tax. So if I have a groupon for two entrees for the price of one, I tip for two entrees plus tax. If my favorite waitress at my favorite restaurant pours generously and brings me a free glass of wine (which is common), I tip according to the number of glasses she…

Finally the big girl getting some love on kinja. I miss flying her and can’t wait to get back. I also see that I’m in or was on the jet when two of these pictures where taken. It’s a really small community and most of us know each other. Btw we never got to take off with the two tanks on board, some General got his…

The C-5M climbs surprisingly fast for how big it is; I’ve seen climb rates greater than 7000 feet per minute.

They came from an hour away with a thirst for loafage,

Next week will be Revenge, so while not light, it’ll definitely be cathartic.

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

“My husband and I are vegan. My daughter is vegetarian and both of them are allergic to gluten, lactose, shellfish, soya, onions, peppers and GM foods.” I’m assuming the kids survive on eating air, then. Assuming it’s not red air, cause they’d probably be allergic to that too.

“My Discourse is Often Obtuse” is my new slogan. Seriously, this is a t-shirt that would sell by the truckload to humanities academics :)

I hope you have a job writing somewhere, because that was just fantastic.

Wuuuuuuuut? Are you suggesting that a parent should actually invest their own precious time in learning how to be an effective and responsible parent, thus enabling appropriate behavior?

This in no way sounds like Pinkham’s Law, but rather like excellent, admirable parenting.

“I guess you’re not eating then, huh, Timmy?”

I still espouse the “don’t like it, don’t eat it” rule. Kids can survive more than a day without food.