My manager finally comes over and informs me that she is removing the gratuity from the bill. This was my only table of the night. They took my whole shift. So I look her in the eye and nod.

Ah Fry’s Electronics.

Kirby is a video game character whose power is inhaling things. All things, except of course for yellow queso.

It wasn’t a shit-the-bed failure, but it did underscore that their audience was disappearing. This last one should have cemented that for them, but as you imply, there’s a lot of ways they can fool investors into thinking that keeping it going is a good idea.

“Oh no, it’s fine, I’m friends with the owner.”

No kidding. DOFP was a validation for Fox, because they pulled over $500MM outside of the US, which made it their most successful Xmen movie to date. With those kinds of numbers, they’re thinking that Avengers-level profits are within reach.

Agreed. I attend a professional group meeting once a month at a local lunch joint, the group can be anywhere from 10-30 people. If we linger to talk after we’re done, it’s in the lobby or outside. And I make sure to personally hand the server an extra ten or twenty in cash because I know people, and people can really…

Was actually referring to cat lady’s inference that none of the neanderthals commenting here had experience with autism, presumably in defense of grill-mark-eraser-dad. My discourse is often obtuse...

Pinkham’s law.

Reminds me of Louis C.K.’s response to someone’s cries for worldwide concern re: their little spew of sunshine with “It’s your shitty kid. You fuckin’ tell ‘em. Why is that anyone else’s problem?.” Actually used it once when the halfwit-factory standing in front of me at the pizza joint was told they didn’t offer…

People stopped asking me how big 7” is a long time ago. My answer for anything over 6” is always the same.

Texas schools do NOT teach creationism; although I have heard of some teachers dancing around the topic of evolution in order to protect their “freedom of religion,” those cases are almost always supported by the local PTA and school board. Your article references a charter school system, which are used as a loophole…

I’ll be at the Vdara in a few weeks for a conference, staying 5 nights. Any advice on how much I should slide over the counter to get a boost?

After the first time I drove a Chevy Lumina, I had the extreme urge to take an extended shower to cleanse myself of its unmistakably retched interior

Not sure about legal, but I know it’s not enforceable in some states. In my state (TX), any attempt to change the conditions of employment in this way must be accompanied by some form of compensation (even if they give you a $5 check!) to have any validity, and even then a judge could rule that the amount was not…

This is a book for people who like authors what write good. This author what writes good wrote good about a group of people on a new planet.

You forgot this one: walk, don’t run. Don’t know how many times I’ve seen my knucklehead friends rush in for it. They’re over eager for first base because, in their mind, they’re ready to round third.

God, I loved Declare. Every time I’m walking in in the street with rhythm, I make sure never to look up at the sky. Force of habit.

I’ll tell you why. It’s because Cal and Ward are pretty much the only two characters in the show who have consistent personalities from episode to episode. Everybody else acts like they stopped taking their Lithium this season.

I’ve given Agents of SHIELD a chance. I really have. But last night clinched it; damn the writing is just lazy, and it’s hard to tell if a lot of the actors are just having a hard time getting their characters nailed down when their motivations turn on a dime, or if they’re really that bad. And for (supposedly)…