My manager finally comes over and informs me that she is removing the gratuity from the bill. This was my only table of the night. They took my whole shift. So I look her in the eye and nod.

Kirby is a video game character whose power is inhaling things. All things, except of course for yellow queso.

“Oh no, it’s fine, I’m friends with the owner.”

Agreed. I attend a professional group meeting once a month at a local lunch joint, the group can be anywhere from 10-30 people. If we linger to talk after we’re done, it’s in the lobby or outside. And I make sure to personally hand the server an extra ten or twenty in cash because I know people, and people can really…

Was actually referring to cat lady’s inference that none of the neanderthals commenting here had experience with autism, presumably in defense of grill-mark-eraser-dad. My discourse is often obtuse...

Pinkham’s law.

Reminds me of Louis C.K.’s response to someone’s cries for worldwide concern re: their little spew of sunshine with “It’s your shitty kid. You fuckin’ tell ‘em. Why is that anyone else’s problem?.” Actually used it once when the halfwit-factory standing in front of me at the pizza joint was told they didn’t offer…

People stopped asking me how big 7” is a long time ago. My answer for anything over 6” is always the same.

I’ll be at the Vdara in a few weeks for a conference, staying 5 nights. Any advice on how much I should slide over the counter to get a boost?

After the first time I drove a Chevy Lumina, I had the extreme urge to take an extended shower to cleanse myself of its unmistakably retched interior

Not sure about legal, but I know it’s not enforceable in some states. In my state (TX), any attempt to change the conditions of employment in this way must be accompanied by some form of compensation (even if they give you a $5 check!) to have any validity, and even then a judge could rule that the amount was not…

That was my first thought. And don’t forget, dealer employees are a hard-ridden lot; I doubt most dealers are going to generously allow employees the time away from work they’ll surely require to achieve their academic goals. A lot of that money is going to go right to Strayer’s exec bonuses. Maybe Strayer will be…

I do love the Udvar-Hazy Center. That place serves as a stark reminder that the National Air and Space Museum on the National Mall needs an overhaul. And regular dusting.

I feel very lucky. My mechanic (Gus’s in Plano TX for those in the area) uses an old gas station garage, it’s just Gus, his two sons and one other guy. Capable, reasonable, straightforward and - I think this says a lot - a lot of their repeat customers are women (a woman recommended them to me years ago). I’ve also…

Can we not have servers with video cameras, like all the damn Russian cars? Then take that video of these awful people and post it to the internet? Then I'll start a website that's Yelp for bad customers.

They even opened up the banquet rooms for lunch during these weeks, so I thought we were going to make extra cash. I was kind of puzzled when all of the veteran staffers started getting rid of their shifts, which I happily took.

I'd prefer to freak them out a little bit, while still being a considerate vandal.

It was, but it didn't work out as intended. Occupational hazard!

Ummm, yeah….I was agreeing with you before.

I think you should do some research first. Civil forfeitures as conducted by state and local law enforcement have been notoriously misused. There are no shortage of instances where funding-starved departments have confiscated money, cars, boats, houses, etc etc from people with a mix of a) no criminal record, b)no…