Yo perk, hit me up.

He was stiff, motionless . . . it looked the guy had been shot somewhere else and dumped here.

So that's three strikes and twelve wild pitches?

I'm curious about where the locker room judgements come into play, because even though they're out in the open there, you can't really tell the real size of the penis because they're flaccid, right? (I'm just assuming this, but please tell me if locker rooms are just full of erect dudes snapping each other with…

Thanks for the womensplaining on a mens issue. We really appreciate your oh so valuable input.

You are so fucking ignorant and dumb I can't even take it. Being a woman and getting drunk is nowhere near analogous to going "into the woods here there are grizzlies holding dead deer carcasses" or poking the bear you stupid, ignorant bastard.

Black Hawk, a war captain who had fought against the United States in the War of 1812 and was now in his 60s, emerged as the leader of this faction in 1829. According to Black Hawk, the "whites were in the habit of saying one thing to the Indians and putting another thing down on paper."

Time for Doc bingo!!!

Commitment to Excrements

This is still my favorite thing about Chris Bosh.

I gotta stick up for poor Doc here, who has apparently built himself a (yes, small) group of antagonists by—well, what, exactly? Daring to announce a game with verve and flair and good humor? Applying a writer's touch (as Drunken Midgets notes) to a too-often-artless medium? Knowing and loving the game more than most…

Honestly, the kindle keyboard frustrated me at first, because I'm like "What the fuck is this? An 'Experimental' web browser?" And once I figured out, you know, this is a device for reading black text on a white screen, it has been amazing. I hop on the El, fire up free 3g for 2 minutes to get my new…

A child of not 5 years of age, having witnessed his theatrics and eventual stumble resulting in a limp, out-cold body - now soaking in spilled beer and various dropped foods - releases their parent's hand, walks to him and says in a sad and flat voice, "Bad clown."

You guys. Wouldn't it be so cool if pubes were made of cotton candy? That way, if you ever wanted to shave you could just have someone eat them off. Also? Naturally pink pubes!!!

I shave all mine off once every six months and use it to stuff the voodoo dolls I sell on Etsy.

makin' benjamins while i'm sleeping...how we do - Allen Iverson (@alleniverson)