dog definitely framed that picture and added a plaque that says GOODEST BOY

“smelly heavyweight monster”

Except for the times when it’s an oarfish.

“Mr. Musk said he had not had taken time off of more than a week since 2001, when he was bedridden”

He should fund Tesla’s next stage by releasing his own fragrance: Musk by Musk.

You also, presumably, don’t hoard massive amounts of resources that could be used to clothe, feed, and shelter people.

Go you!

The pubes of God.

Udon Know Me is God-level punning.

“A Queso The Mondays.”

“Go on reddit and” oof, no

The only community Reddit is a representative sample of are butthurt shut-in cretins. 

You're missing a few citations there, bud.

I saw the last Jedi with 10 close friends and family. Want to know how many of them go on the Star Wars Reddit? You aren’t the target audience. Get out of your bubble.

I don’t have kids (or even like kids for that matter) and I know about the Cheerios.

You’re kidding, right?  Basically every suburban mom in the U.S. has a ziplock full of plain Cheerios in her purse.  

“Quaker Oats. Now with no added mercury.”

And a word to describe the fact there is a word that describes the ability of the German language to have a word to describe it. And so on and so forth down the rabbit hole (or Kaninchenbau if you please) we go...

German might be the most specific language ever created. Seriously, there is person somewhere in this world that is experiencing a very very specific emotion that is very dependent on a certain context and that person is the only person who ever has or ever will experience this emotion, and German probably has a…