I just watched “The Crown”. They said the first rule of royalty is “never leave royalty waiting”. What an asshole. 

And he’s walking in front of the Queen of England. Disrespectful, even if she wasn’t a queen.

I’m getting really sick of his copy/paste endorsement tweets, but I do find “Strong on Crime” very funny. So, they’re a criminal? They are good at “the crime”? 

A specialer level of special. The specialist special that ever was. Speciamundo!

THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

Hands are in proportion though.

‘The highest level of special”.

I hope Queen steps on his tie and  he trips over or she can ride him over with her Range Rover.

Oh Jesus Christ Donald, do fuck off with your emoji tweets, you asshole. I can only imagine him sending Melania an eggplant and she’s confused since he never eats vegetable.

Not the legitimate president of the United States Donald Trump kept Queen Elizabeth II waiting outside the Windsor Castle so long, his tie grew 7 feet.

Asking if I’m ready to cry implies I have, at some point recently, stopped crying.

So today I went on the anti-Trump March and it was a very raucous affair, outnumbering wotsit’s own inauguration crowd, with everyone loudly demonstrating how much they detest the man. The crowd was so large that it kept having to stop start to avoid overcrowding the end goal of Trafalgar Square and contained all…

I feel so, so sorry for the woman whose act of kindness (giving up her seat) ended up being used as a jump-off point for Blair. Blair has done nothing but try to turn this into internet fame, asking for free plane tickets and a job at Buzzfeed. Listen, it is this simple: don’t fucking photograph someone without their…

Wow this guy is awful.

“actress and internet personality...”

Yikes. When this was in its viral-infancy stage the whole Twitter thread made me super uncomfortable. My first thought was that the couple tweeting about this supposed meet-cute was being super effin weird to document these strangers like that. Gross. Mind ya business. I would have been extremely upset if I were…

who took his Instagram photos?  Does he walk around with a professional photographer all day??

I have no idea how I’ve been on the internet every day for most of the day during the time this all went down, yet completely missed anything related to this fiasco. That said, everyone involved in this *EXCEPT THE GIRL WHO WAS VICTIMIZED* seems like they super duper suck.

Wait...so he’s gotten positive vibes, poses shirtless but she is slut shamed? Ugh this world.

I love Gaffigan and his material. Every time, he will have a joke that leaves me unable to breathe. Usually it's an aside or a nonsequiter. Last time it was about how his pants couldn't be dirty because his belt was still in the loops. I had to pause the special for about a good 5 minutes.