Their maple syrup is a corn syrup mixed with nuclear waste and day glo colors.

I got a Community notification for this?!

*sniff* Has it really been 25 years...















OF COCK!?

No, the goal is to make the horse drink. And drink again. And drink again. That’s how consumerism works.

“her feminine wiles.”

lingerie and wine! So sexy and fun! Just like mass sexual slavery and forced impregnation! yayyyyyyy!

No?  What?  No.  This is a terrible idea.  Just no.

Wow.

You know, there are some products that just line up in theory.

And then should stay there.

IHOP is better than Denny’s which is better than Waffle House. I haven’t figured out yet where Cracker Barrel fits in.

I JUST got my tattoo fixed to say IHOB. They won’t change it again, people.

I will never stop being creeped out by merchandise inspired by this book/show. 

I still remember this SNL ad:

Every time I hear IHOP or IHOB or whatever all I can think about is entirely mediocre pancakes and fake-ass maple syrup. That whole franchise is just a disappointment factory.

There’s also a weird domestic violence dynamic sometimes. The woman, who is often physically and mentally abused by the man, will outright defend his actions, despite having concrete evidence of the contrary.  These are the cases that force me to contain my rage.  It is exceedingly frustrating and tragic. 

They don’t take action? They ignore it?

Some ignore it. They’ve think, “So and so would never do something like that” or chalk it up to an overactive imagination.  Some of these parents were victimized themselves.  It’s brutal. 

“giving away 60 cent short stacks”