Spare us, dude. Bleeding hearts for the suffering mega-yacht industry?

Etymolopnik

Automatic windows? Really?

Just making sure it was actually you and not a ghost writer plant.

David “If the vehicle is less than 50% rust I don’t want it” Tracy and resident taillight scholar Jason Torchinsky are what keep me coming back to Jalopnik. 

David Tracy and Torch would like a word with you.

COTD!

Running from the cops is not the best way to get a head in life. Don’t lose your head when being pulled over, just remain calm, keep your chin up, stiff upper lip, and hold your head high.

cyclists (many Jalopnik readers.)

I really miss Fancy Kristen

I hear Elon Musk is considering it for the next generation of Teslas, opting for Star Trek touch panel helm controls instead. ;)

My buddy has an ex-wife that’s a loose nut.  The indicators were a little different.

Regardless of their motivations, it’s nice to see they did the kid a solid. 

mistake number one, confronting thieves

Did... did you work in a cartoon?

Sorry for the confusion--Jason still works here, he’s just in Seattle speaking at a conference.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JASON? 

Defense called for a mistrial on the grounds that all the testimony was making their client look guilty.

Get an iPhone.

Well, now I need to find the Weinermobile and get 4 free whistles. Then find an old apple mouse. I really want the complete set listed here.