Depends upon what you mean by “pick up.” Check for a pulse first.

Show the court on the teddy bear where Jalopnik hurt you.

I don’t believe it.

Torch is the GOAT.

“More and more men are withdrawing into the enclave of idleness, and pornography, and video games,” Hawley said in his speech, probably speaking about himself.

Every single legal charge is skewed by racism in some way. Since it’s systemic there is no escaping it. Hard to muster much sympathy for people who planned and executed a murder over nothing. Even if they are under-age.

I am generally opposed to trying children as adults, and exceedingly skeptical of what passes for justice in Florida, but I think I am good with this.

Must’ve been antifa gamers.

This is a troll on a troll right?  

I mean, this is clever as hell, no doubt.  But the best thing about this is the article itself.  God damn, Torch, you’re a madman

Every other SAHM with a Cricut or a Cameo machine and an Etsy shop can make this for you Torch.

Liberals, communists, fascist bicyclists. Tree hugger Clinton backers. Soros probably hired these crisis actors. Benghazi. 

That his parents got him that truck shows that they too are morons. 

Joke’s on you: this kid probably has zero plans to attend college, either before or after this incident.

His mother and father were siblings.

Gov. Abbott is already working on a blanket pardon for this kid for anything he may be found guilty of going forward.

There are only two types of Bentley to buy: A brand new one, or a very, very, old one.

There’s no need for a FNAF movie now that we've already got Willy's Wonderland. 

This. This is what makes this site awesome to visit.

Yeah, but, can’t hurt, right?