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Back into the grays for you!

You’re coming dangerously close to losing your Jalop privileges.

I’ll be standing on my front Porsche screaming from my soap Boxster about how good of a deal this is

Stop comparing used prices to new prices. 

Don't be so blind. These folks know them deers are all radical Mooselims. Vigilance! 

I’ll pass on calling dibs. Few things are more humiliating than being underwater on a Hyundai.

As a Wrangler owner, let me assert how much I loathe those angry eyes.

So how many different versions of the angry eyelid covers will ford launch this thing with?

Yeah, it’s called Saturday. 

“I can prove I’m God. You can’t prove I’m not. Now, how can I prove I’m God? Well, there are six definitions for God in the American Heritage Dictionary, and number five is a very handsome man, and my wife says I’m a very handsome man, and nobody argues with my wife.”

You see this pic, and the thing that gets you excited is the tail light and not that it’s a two door.

Yawn

“What can I say? Affirmative action...”

Have some nightshade berries, pissant

ok boomer...

I paid for that recline so I’m using it. You don’t get to determine which space is yours when the airline already did that my allowing the seats to recline. You’re not england of commercial airliners and you don’t get to colonize space I rightfully paid for. Recline your own seat if you don’t want be be close to the…

Its like an inch and a half, youre an idiot. 

But then, days or weeks later, you realize you are driving around in a 12 year old Chevy Cobalt BY CHOICE and you have an existential breakdown.