He's gonna get a bill when he turns 18...

Seventh election, actually, but thanks. My first time voting in a presidential election was way back in 1992 when Hillary’s husband ran for the first time.

I hope she made that kid build it.

I’m hoping other people will chime in to tell you how wrong you are, but: the percentage of men that have committed rape is much, much larger than the percentage of refugees that have committed terrorist acts. The authoritative study on the former shows a rapist rate of around 6.5% of the male population; other…

It’s the drugs.

If i can get the American Immigration and vetting offices to test whether or not i’m about to be roofied for 18 months, i’ll take 10 out of 10 drinks.

I read this as “fuck you for soup, Apple!” Now I’m shamefully curious as to what this iSoup tastes like.

Hint: it’s the orange one.

#BanAllToddlers

Even better, YOU KNOW WHICH ONE IS WHICH AND IT’S NOT A BLIND GUESS.

You are so right about the toddlers with guns crisis in the USA:

Social Darwinisn from people who think Darwin was wrong?

i think it’s more like “America, you have two skittles. One of them is old and stale and has that red dye that might accumulate and cause kidney stones, but it’s been carefully kept packaged, so you might get a belly ache but otherwise live. The other is also old and stale, but it fell from your mouth into the toilet…

Good ‘til the last drop!

This is much more accurate, since unlike refugees, skittles can be orange.

Way to go Skittles rep!

#notallunservicedelevators

America: you have just two skittles to choose from, and one will DEFINITELY KILL YOU.

Why don’t you take a moment to think about this callous and irrelevant remark?