Being forced to watch the White House orientation video must have been tough for him, since it doesn’t mention him. The part about sexual harassment in the workplace must have been uncomfortable.

Why has our country not started discussing the possibility of a buyout? Offer him two billion dollars or so, he’d take it, we can afford it, then we’d be done with him, and this horrible nightmare would finally be over.

DeVos’s scheme will actually net your kid more voucher money for signing up other kids for private school than you receive for signing up yourself.

Well in 1891 Dr. James Naismith created a game using two peach baskets so rival gang members could settle their differences. Bill Simmons was on hand to document this historic moment and whine incessantly that none of these players could hold a candle to the 1986 Boston Celtics.

DENMAKR is a dating app that describes itself as being “for Bob Villa types.”

That’s Meatloaf in a Dolly Parton wig!

Trump should not be allowed to nominate a Supreme Court Justice in the last year of his presidency #MicDrop

If you really want to fuck with a state, activate the National Guard from another state. That means that money goes to somewhere else.

Perhaps democrats can return the favor and filibuster Trump’s nominee for 4 years.

We’re done here.

Sent to me by Sean Spicer.

Perhaps he could offer him a chocolate covered pretzel.

How is he going to watch Yankees games now?!

Dear San Diego,

Look. Alex. That’s just urinalysis.

If that’s the first play after kickoff, then why is it already first and goal for the Falcons? Oh, right, because the Rams are hilariously terrible. 

It’s almost as if the Rams failed in St. Louis because of a solid decade of breathtaking incompetence from its management and ownership, rather than playing in a stadium that was 20 years old.

“inciting people’s worst instincts.”

This 100%