I had an asshole birther tell me we all need to unite now that they’ve won. What the actual fuck? You shitheads spent 8 years fighting tooth and nail to keep Obama from helping people, now I need to just go along with this racist expired creamsicle? No, fuck you. Every racist meme is getting repaid. I’m tired of being…

People took the word of a man with 6 bankruptcies over the economic experts that had reduced unemployment under 5%. A minority of people, certainly, since they lost the overall vote count, but people.

Agreed. The Barron one should have been a call, but I don’t think Donald’s tackle was malicious, more awkward.

We’re childless by choice and both approaching 40, so the child questions are starting to die off. It’s amazing how many friends will tell you that you’re making a mistake not having kids, like I care enough about their opinion to make a life-altering decision on their say-so. Then they ditch you for folks with kids,…

Gah! That’s a crime against humanity!

I was a manager at a Famous Barr (basically a Macy’s, in fact, Macy’s bought them out later). It was in a small mall, where there were 3 food choices, a McDonald’s Express (microwaved Mickey D’s), Panda Express, and Sbarro’s. As you can imagine, they got a pretty heavy rotation in a job where I was required to be…

Holy shit, I just held a pregnant lady’s place in line while she peed today. Wouldn’t anybody help you out?

I had a guy follow me all the way to my house once when I was 19. When I got out of the car and he noticed I was a larger than average man, he drove off. I think that he thought I was my 17 year old sister since we drove the same car.

Hey folks, I’m a white guy. Need any crimes committed? Apparently we’re immune.

I love her. My wife and I have seen her twice and she’s never been anything but awesome live. Also, we got the force of nature that is Bridgett Everett at both shows, so I love her just for that.

Would that be Space Dong?

Holy shit. I’m a Cardinals fan that grew up in St. Louis and this made me want to throw up. It’s like a parody of a Cardinals fan, but I know he fucking exists.

Every time I see him (Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, Westworld) I let out a yelp because I’m conditioned to expect something insane when I hear his voice.

Which probably saved me an ass kicking. Silver linings and all.

What a dumb time to release this by our Russian friends. Trump might get a shot in with this at the debate, but it’ll be gone by Monday. You release this on TUESDAY after the debate - stunt her momentum from clowning Donnie Sunday.

As I said to the asshole flying a Confederate flag from his boat the other day

I’m still curious why there is a portrait option. Let people shoot landscape while holding it straight up!

First, the St. Louis PD is the only corrupt police department in the country? Wow, must be nice to live in that reality.

Honestly, Biff, I don’t know why I even bothered to engage you on this. When you’re dumb enough to wish death on an entire state, you’re probably not changing your mind, just because you’re demonstrably (and monstrously) wrong.