She often has a “did you comb your hair with an egg beater?” look.

So my cat has this weird habit of waking Mr Pies and me up exactly 2 hours before our alarm. She basically decides it’s time to check on our liveliness, delivered via loving paws in our faces and chirping when we give her sleepy pats. She somehow KNOWS when we plan to wake up. I’m talking 0415 on weekdays for the 0615…

If it had been in the shape of an automatic rifle no one would have uttered a word.

Its just a human body part

Well, the thing is, everything the judge said is true.

His self-portrait, yes. Rossetti in real life? Noooooooo

See, Reddit can’t be racist, It’s totally dating a black woman!

Wow. One-upping the “I have black friends” defense. Just... wow.

Yeah, remember this? The new man beat the shit out of the old man. Aubrey has kept his head down, not said a word - no matter what she’s thrown at him - and thus I have a bit of respect for him. He just gets on with raising his kid - the one Halle wanted to spirit off to France for a new life with her new husband.…

It reminds me of this, so much....

Don’t think her ex is cray - he just seems like a dad who won’t bow down and exit his daughter’s life, which enrages her. Narcissistic reaction: ‘You WILL do as I say!’

HUMAN CENTIPEDE

Related: I was invited to some super-church’s women’s service a few weeks ago. I’m church-going, but I’m not comfortable in megachurches at all. Anyhow, the pastor irked me with his hipster costume and super-chill persona, and I wanted to punch someone everytime I heard that women have the gift of “femininity”& “a…

You know what *does* belong in a museum? Hobby Lobby’s views on birth control.

Randy Travis? is that you?

She had to spend 9 years pretending to find Kevin James funny/charming/attractive. She has suffered enough.

And after dinner, she said, ‘Do you want to see the mall?’ And Gaga and I were out of that chair so fast … We went down to the mall and spent an hour down there. She pulled out her collection of gowns from Funny Girland Hello, Dolly! And then she said, ‘Do you want frozen yogurt?’

Woah, that is the most Florida thing to ever Florida.

I was a 14 year old band geek dating another band geek. One day I come home to find my mom furious and my big tough dad crying. No joke. Like someone had fucking died.