Anyway, the Bears won 31-15.

A plastic bag of styrofoam cups is also Alex Smith’s new tibia.

That reminds me- pretty much everyone in the “Terry Tate” commercials was named after a sex act. 

This is almost as bad as when I had my pooch embalmed and mounted in my den and the plaque read Mr Bojankles but there’s nothing a sharpie can’t fix

trust me, there are way worse ways to misspell his name.

Normally when someone tells me I won’t unsee something regarding a football player’s leg, I’m expecting an extra knee or backwards foot or something.

That the uncalled false start led to a pick six was a perfect representation of this game 

Just do what we did growing up: first is a frisbee, second is a hat, third is the oak tree next to the Walters’ yard (the shorter one), and home is Kyle’s old gym bag.

You know where they don’t have 8-0 games Billy ? Time for you to get that Vela LAFC jersey and the Real Salt Lake scarf to go with your Red Bulls coffee mug. You know you wanna do it baby ! You know you do ! It’s only a matter of time before you’re sitting across from Kate Abdo discussing El Traffico or the MLS Cup.…

If Dan Marino had played hockey:

Let’s get a couple things straight, this schools costs more than 56k annually, and is called Avenues: The World School. 

Today I learned: Sáček is the Czech equivalent of Sanchez.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiin West Philadelphia

I knew that comment would have a swift and severe backsplash.

An inexperienced coach needs a reliable brain trust around him.

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

The thing about crowning achievements is that some societies are so starved of leadership that they’ll bestow rule with the least forethought. Defeating a backwards rabble of pirates is hardly the foundation of government.

I can see the NY Post headline:

“World of Suck, you say? Guess I’m done visiting Orchids of Asia.”