I think I was going to explode if you guys didn't cover this story. Thank you for giving it the attention it deserves. Kathleen Hale is a deeply disturbed person. It's horrifying to see so many people—including writers I thought highly of—defend her actions. If she had been a man, no one would be calling her piece…

TL;DR: Author can't get over perceived slight, becomes terrifying stalker.

Well, that explains why the blogger was anonymous. Because apparently authors are fucking nuts.

Filed to: Shitstorms

Wow. You really nailed me there. That's precisely why we aren't friends anymore.

My father-in-law only had to deal with a few stragglers at the end, and apparently he was prepared for that eventuality - he had a car service on call. His place was in Sleepy Hollow, NY, and since 99% of the guests lived in NYC it all turned out ok. Although I pity some of those cab drivers...

I tried but she was a devout Catholic. And she insisted that whoever she marry be a virgin too so I can't imagine the night went that well. She insisted on many things in a husband and that was a big one.

You're putting on a big party for friends and family. Then, when it's all done, just the two of you, please take a moment and fuck a bit to celebrate and relax before passing out.

Thank you.

One of my most embarrassing childhood moments was when Ms. Newby, my fourth grade teacher, called out to the class during free period, asking "who does this story belong to? It's about lady pirates, and it doesn't have a name on it."

I LOVED Long Kiss Goodnight. "Moving in. It's uh....It's uh....It's not a song about linen. It's not linen."

This was literally my favorite movie in high school. I loved its cheesiness, the just-missed-the-mark jokes ("I must visit that shop again, when I have more time!" says Geena Davis as she plows through a village on a cart pulled by horses that's destroying everything in its path), and the fact that there was a BAD ASS…

We actually cleaned out a car my mom had and found a french fry in the back seat. No one had ridden in the backseat except me, when I was smaller, like 4, 5 YEARS before, and that fry was as golden and crunchy looking as the day it fell down.

Alternate Headline.

Keeping your pet hamburgers in jars is unspeakably cruel, Morgan Spuckluck, you are a bad man.

Look, if we're going to say that Okra is food, it's really hard to deny McDonald's.

Anyone who has ever found a wayward french fry under a seat while cleaning out their car knows that McDonald's food does not rot. We're onto you, McDonald's!

"Burt Reynolds' kiss makes you gay."

Really, though: who among us hasn't done that?

Thank you for your tireless dedication to journalism, sir.