Here you go.

No. Just no. This looks like footie jammies for a toddler. There must be a better way.

She can do what she wants. Straight people make out all the time! I'm bi and I am not going to hold these two to some standard of public celibacy.

If androgyny = dressing models from a toy box, then this designer is NAILING IT.

Disneyland: NOT EVEN ONCE.

God dammit, Larry! I was gonna wear MY giant egg suit to the dance! You ruin everything!

You uh got something on your face.

Men be all like

Pretty sure this is just a towel and a ribbon.

What the fuck is going on here? Excuse me while I vomit forever.

The spirt is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

They're pretty bad. I work at a university and use the gym. Upon exiting the women's locker room it is sometimes possible to smell an obnoxious cloud of Axe coming from the adjacent men's locker room. It's fucking horrendous sometimes. This also happens in classes occasionally and as instructors we will have to remind…

I forced all my co-workers to smell my perfume today, which meant I had to put my wrist directly up to their faces. That is the correct amount of perfume. Also, my co-workers think I'm weird. I don't care. I smell like Coach Poppy and you're all gonna enjoy it!!!

How did you make wunderground give you a cat metric???

We are not amused.

so incredibly confused

Vegas and Phoenix are also unbearable deserts of pain. I've never heard of Shaver or Bass in my entire life and I'm a lifelong CA resident. Even if everything you were saying was true, it would still be Fresno. No, thank you.

Hey bob,

I am NOT ready to stand and face Titanic without a drop of alcohol.

Those are both indisputable facts.