I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”

Periodic reminder Dana White is a huge piece of shit. 

Carroll: Hey Marshawn, do you want to vote on what play we should run?

I was thinking, “They finally classified Purdue a gang?! Sweet!”

My buildingmate texted me photos of a man being revived from an OD on our lawn a few minutes ago.

As someone who teaches kids with disabilities, I will never talk shit about books highlighting or being about kids with disabilities. That said, I just went and looked at this book and I am assuming the squirrel’s “physical limitation” is being short. IDK, I’m not going to buy the fucker, and he just released the seque…

Order a time machine from Amazon and abort Baby Ben.

That kindof fits too. i read the Daily Beast, and would never pay for it, just because of stories like the one above. In the same page, they had a story about “the most-loved man in television.,” which is apparently about some netflix show. So, yeah, they stretch things a lot...

Holy shit! Even David Carradine wouldn’t be caught dead with that belt on.

“Let me tell you fellas about clearing space. I call it the ‘no look gas.’”

I think it’s smart. If you want to grow the game, it’s probably a good idea to send over two teams that fans can watch and think “Well, I could do that.” 

Grimace is shaped like a butt plug.

Grimace: “I have a butthole..........Can you tell me what I am??”

My wife has celiac, so I’m anti-Glüten by marriage. 

This is far better than that “Win a National Championship Get Free Big Macs” promo.

Please, don’t just comment here.

this never happened when UCF were national champs

*tries to simultaneously hiccup and cough*

I call bullshit on this one. Donnie never needs the batteries on the remote changed because he never changes the channel. All FNC, all the time. If he wants to watch sports or something, he has a second TV brought in, already programmed to that channel.

That header image looks like a 45-year-old accountant in a Jazz jersey ran out onto the court.