“I did not speak to Kevin Durant directly, but I heard this from multiple sources. MULTIPLE. I mean twitter users DevinKurant, KDisAmazing35, NotKevinDurant, TheServantWasAGoodNickname and even WestbrookWasntThatGoodAndI-IMeanKevinDurantCarriedTheThunder.”

“Man the 4th of July is really amazing. Sure it’s a bit of hokey, flag humping nationalism, but you really appreciate all the amazing things we enjoy as a country. (Reads Burneko’s dash post) Freedom of press was a mistake.” 

I mean, I GET the joke but

I like the idea of Kawhi bleeding the Lakers of options. It’d be great if 2018-19 was tanked by Lebron’s thirst for Davis. Then, after acquiring Davis, 19-20 was tanked because they were too thirsty for Kawhi. 

I thought the Warriors had Klay locked in through next season. Are they just covering their bases for 2020-21? Also, that’s good. If Thompson and Curry are both healthy the Warriors will at least be good and fun (if not cartoonishly dominant) for a while longer.

The odds of Kyrie poisoning the locker room before Durant ever sets foot on the court is better than a planet flip. 

I enjoy that he employs the conservative method of, “I’m very smart and enlightened but most Americans are dumb rubes. So when I discuss them, I just envision the dumbest most dog shit idiot and say that is who you must win over."

Imagine thinking the push to the left (the only thing that actually helped Clinton in 2016) is what’s hurting Democrats. Obviously, the only thing you can do to entice people hurt by the Republican tax cut, immigration policies, and attempts to destroy health care is to say, “vote for me and I’ll only make things…

“Today I wrote a piece attempting to explain the view of ordinary people (i.e. people who agree with me)." -Posted from inside a luxury bunker penthouse, eating raw oysters on furniture made of poor people standing very still. 

“The joy I feel is unmatched.”

Why on Earth would that post pictures from the account that was just tangentially related to the missing woman? I mean, I assume because Barstool has a weird sexist minimum quota for their posts, but still... Jesus. 

A NEW CHALLENGER IS APPROACHING!

“the gunman supposedly was confused because the two had similar outfits on.”
 The hope of every dude in Boston with a Tom Brady jersey. 

Jesus, more stupid liberal bias. Some guy named Hernandez does this and you applaud, but Joe Biden does some unwanted kissing and you’re all over his ass!

I’m torn on what’s my favorite letter. One on hand:
“You’re retarded. Suck my hairy left nut and kiss my sunburned ass.” raises soooo many questions.
On the other, so does: “From: bootsyhutch” 

The perfect Myst comment. Well done.

Reporter: What do you think it’ll be like playing with James again?
Smith: I literally can not remember a time I didn’t play with him.

Okay, rank the three pro-coach dress codes then:
- Suit (NBA/NHL)
- Jersey (MLB)
- Any fucking insane hobo wear as long as it’s licensed (NFL)
Gotta Be NFL first, right? How much would we as a society lose if not for the Belichick sleeveless sweater or Rex Ryan wearing a Bills tank top or whatever?

Yeah, I’m a Warriors herb and wanted them to win but I’m more comfortable watching Lebron’s insane rundown block or Kawhi running both ends of the floor than I am watching Harden creep to a win by hurling himself 5 feet backwards into a defender while tossing the ball towards the basket.