Try looking into his involvement in the Benghazi hearings. Class act. 

“Only ATE Ed’s ass out one time, let him tell you about it.”

Have they considered just not paying players and instead offer them experience and worthless degrees?

“After the two girls got into a fight about cigarettes and abused an elderly lady.”

This is god’s punishment. Diamondbacks were never meant to have legs.

Dana White is so stoked to spin this into an angle for UFC 245.

Naw, she’s so committed to packing the courts with conservative judges (apparently ensuring that you can’t get an abortion is her #1 issue) that unless it’s a landslide victory, she’ll absolutely vote for Trump.

And insinuated that your dad shot Bobby Kennedy. 

Side note: It’ll be hilarious when Meghan McCain tearfully casts a vote for the man who won’t stop bagging on her dead father. 

I wouldn’t say that John McCain lives rent free in Trump’s head, so much as his spirit crash landed there. 

We had this argument the other day and I had to catch myself because I was like, “Alright, breath in my face...Oh god! You’re breath smells like fu....Farts.”

Kids are never more certain of something than when they are absolutely 100% wrong.

I swear to god, my daughter and I got into an argument about the Ninja Turtles.
Me: eat your pizza. The Ninja Turtles love pizza.
Kid: No. They eat flies.
Me: haha...No. They eat pizza. It’s they’re favorite.
Kid: No, daddy. They’re turtles they eat flies. (note: the fuck?)
Me: *gets phone* *Googles Ninja Turtles+Pizza*…

“Andthey’re bringing out a goal. But it isn’t a net, it’s a basketball goal.”

This is pizza Qanon. Shaq is just taking this job in order to flush out and finally capture the Noid.

Izzo: “What the fuck are you doing! You’re plodding around out there like fucking Frankenstein!”

“-And they’re sixty minute men, baby.”
“WAAAAAHW-WOW!”

That promo is absolute art. When they start “wooo”ing at each other I just die laughing. 

I get that there is no incentive to fight to stay on your feet when you get shoved in the NBA. In the real world, you don’t want to fall, nor do you want to appear caught off guard. However, in the NBA you obviously want to highlight a shove to try and draw the foul.
Still, it’s hilarious that a guy of Embiid’s size rea…

If I’m reading Starr’s comments correctly and he’s actually criticizing Israel for depriving its citizens of “basic human rights,” then he’s my new favorite.
Also, very surprised he would criticize Israel...very antisemitic of him.