It’s his shout-out to sufferers of PPS (Phantom Parrot Syndrome)

That’s my son! He’s fine. A couple scraped elbows and a huge grin. 14 year old JT Vukovcan. Wants Kang to sign his ball.

Roberto Cemente

He’s five foot four

(Here’s a translated version, but if anyone out there knows Czech, get at us in the comments.)

You mean I just got the WHOOOOOSHHH treatment?! Aw, FML.

Keeping the tradition of needlessly cutting clothes.

When the police asked Malone to described the number of times he was hit in the head, stomach and legs, respectively, he replied "fo, fo, fo."

Chesterfield explanation couched in vague language. Winner not identified sofa.

I would say “you must be new here”, but I know that you aren’t. The hint is that he spelled it “socser”, like “futsal”. It was a play on ignorant Americans as well as the different spellings....Damn, I can’t believe I’m explaining someone else’s joke for them...

He's really not.

“I’ve been there, man.”

Lawmakers have no idea how to prosecute cybercrime. On the one hand, there’s potential for huge damages by illegally accessing a computer. On the other hand, Aaron Swartz was facing up to 50 years for downloading academic journal articles he was authorized to access.

If only there were a date on the calendar somewhat close to New Year’s Eve ... a day where no one had to work and had nothing better to do than sit around watching college football ...

They should have been able to tell from the user name that the poster was a hoax artist. It’s a reference to Ali Dia, who once conned then-Southampton manager Graeme Souness to sign him to a trial by having a classmate call Souness and pretend he was George Weah, telling Souness that he should sign his “cousin” Dia.

+1, literally.

They’re still better than the Niners. You know, because of math.

“Guys, guys, it’s cool, I’m calm now, let me go and I’ll prove it,” which gets the group to slacken their hold.

This is outstanding.

You’re implying that you don’t know what implying means.