I love the abundance of caution Tim is using here to avoid using the word bicycle.

Because women come with a used up count, as well as a use by date. How else is a man supposed to know whether his girlfriend is worth wiving?

The Mavs used to run that exact same play for Ellis, which ended in the exact same result.

More details than you probably wanted on this: http://www.si.com/nhl/2016/03/01…

First he praised Missouri’s football teams, but I did not speak, for I had no idea they still had football teams in Missouri.

Super powers may be an exaggeration, but I watched the game last night and noticed a vast deferens in his abilities.

Great. We are going to give him top notch training here in the states, he will get his U.S. citizenship, and then Germany will steal him for their national team like they do with all of our players.

As a Cubs fan: Hahahahahaha. Thanks for Arrieta, too.

Tell me more about this unknown teen looking to score.

and what’s the point of language if not to efficiently convey meaning?

That was a pass to Steph.

I couldn’t use this Getty shot of Whiteside stuffing the shit out of Green for the lead image because it isn’t horizontal, but it’s great:

That kind of performance will certainly raise a single large connected eyebrow.

Hahahaha they see what you did there.. But barely

Everyone who follows la liga knows them simply as Bilbao. I was wondering who the fuck they were.

Take my advice - propose to that girl that hasn't left you yet for being as into pro wrestling as you are.

AHEM I THINK YOU FORGOT TO ANALYZE SOMETHING

Nice that MLB let him bring his grandson on the field. I'm not so sure about those shades though, but hey, I'm not the pro ballplayer.

That’s exactly what happened to me. Thank you World Cup 2006, you created a soccer fan for life.

I watched this live, there wasn’t even one coaches challenge, no Pheel Sims, no terrible pandering advertisements, It was great.