Haha, no time to research, but go ahead and assume everything ever for now.

“Good. Fuck him.”

Pretty typical of a Red to blame history on Bourgeois instincts.

“I’m surprised he didn’t understand the rule. I mean, he’s not Dominican.”

Hey, you get into your mid-30s, you’re going to have some degenerate relations. I have a stepbrother that votes Republican, for god’s sake.

Correction: the Dodgers now have a payroll of $42,000,000,001.

You forgot to add “Laugh-a while you can, highlight-a truther!”

You actually completely misquoted your own quote. Yes, being in the top 30% is “one of the better” as quoted, as opposed to your “one of the best” statement that came “out of left field.”

Stop exaggerating Deadspin!!!! It was from a long way out, but clearly not as far as San Jose.

On second thought, let’s not go to the Bundesliga. ‘tis a silly place.

We’re players for FC Erfut
We score whenever we’re able
We aim for where the ball is put
With footwork impeccable

I think you mis-heard him. He was saying that as a Met, he was really inspired by a Pair-o’-Keiths.

This is missing about 100 stars.

just keeping his brandt hot for poking himself in the ass

Barber: What kind of look are you going for, bud?

Wow, that’s pretty cool. He was trotting around the bases well before the turn of the centaury.

There’s a 93.4% I don’t watch a single NFL game this year. I used to watch every Sunday but it’s so much overkill now.

Gary, Keith, and Ron are a national treasure and none shall speak ill of them.

“I can’t stop giggling about pastries.”

“Sacrum blur!” - Bad Joke Eli