I knew there would be one. Thank you for that.

This is why Philadelphia never should’ve let the Barnes move downtown.

2-1 United now, after they consciously uncoupled the scoreline.

Man, if it had been a trick question - “Mad Dog, it wasn’t called Super Bowl I when they were introduced, it was called the AFC-NFC Championship Game” - we could’ve reached the singularity.

Hell is trivia questions about the order in which offensive linemen were introduced.

It’s shocking that it wasn’t Fuzzy Zoeller.

Does he have a nickname? Can I suggest Krazy KAT? Is this even the place for suggesting nicknames?

Referring to him as C. DeAndre Jordan really gives him the gravity that he has been trying so desperately to acquire all these years with that beard.

I wonder why he’s having such a hard time getting the baby to latch to his nipple.

“I wonder how the Knicks will fuck this up.”

Have you ever been here before?

Eh, I’m skeptical. No true Irishman would have access to information like that.

“I do think there’s a certain purity to the idea that everybody plays by the same rules,” Manfred said. “The significance of that purity goes up when you have interleague play every day.”

The cops knew Coleman had smoked something when he told them he had once been the #1 pick in the NBA Draft.

A black dude was once elected president.

I find this situation to be entirely without humor. Or to put it another way, it’s comic sans.

Cavs Have Spat; Glatt Blatt Goes Splat

You’d think her parents would have understood before the 100th time.

Pardon me - aren’t you from the Spurs, sirs?