Curses aren’t real. Ghosts aren’t real.

Please don’t.

Weird, there’s been a 9/11 every year I can remember.

When the Browns win a championship.

And your bully had bigger hands...

THE BEST CONSPIRACY

but Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

So edgy, I cut myself!

Feel better now?

Jet fuel can’t stretch a shitty joke that far. Enjoy your afternoon.

The people planning to vote for him(?)

Yeah and I loved Kate McKinnons take on the intimidation attempt. “Oh no! Mistresses? Bill how could you? How will I ever go on?

There’s one in every family. If your family doesn’t have one, it’s you.

Are we absolutely certain that he knows he’s debating Clinton and not Obama?

Hillary should just bring a family size bag of Cheetos and sit it in the front row.

Balance your phone on your THIGH? Are you insane? That thing is eventually slipping between your legs and landing in a bad bad place.

But don’t forget that he also said what she said before he said that he didn’t.

If Kim Kardashian comes out with a really thoughful op-ed on this election I may have to shoot myself.

Look this is just another stupid he said/she said she said she said she said she said she said she said.

Who would have thought that People would not only be a source of legitimate journalism but would have an actual effect in this year’s election? 2016 is full of surprises.