How in the fuck was this post not about this:

No, they swept them 3-1.

I just can’t believe he never went to Zach Britton.

He looks dumpy and his ass looks like a burlap sack filled with snakes.

I have season tickets to two professional sports teams, MLB and NHL, and have had both sets of seats for over a decade. One of the greatest joys is kicking people out of my seats.

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

She has a book coming out next year about the subject, promising “highly tactical, solution-oriented content” for women in the office.

STFU, Hamilton.

That’s him? Wow, he must have bet his neck on the hard eight and lost.

Wtf did i just read?

Yes.

:)

Phil looks like he borrowed his older and even dumpier brother’s suit.

“Inadvertently ingest cocaine while kissing a woman solicited for sex on Craigslist the night before the olympic trials..” - also Rob Ford’s Make-a-Wish request.

Officials wanted to punish him further but he plead “Sorry guys”, the ultimate Canadian legal defense. After that they were powerless but to return of verdict of “No, no, we’re sorry.”

Who the fuck is such an asshole that he sends back fries?

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

I remember arguing a long while back about Brian Matusz being a better pitching prospect than MadBum. Orioles fandom is painful sometimes

I don’t know what you’re talking about. The guy went 0 for 3 with a K.

Berman: Beh. Burrrr. Bahh. BEEEHHHH