Donald invited her because just like him and Jackie Evancho, Rebecca came second in the popular vote.

Think for a second. Think about how egotistical you need to be to start the season as QB, have your shoulder explode around week 2, not come back until the end, see your team go 1-15 and think “heh, nailed it.”

1. Kerry should have made this speech 2 years ago

Jeebus, when are these dumbass fuckers going to realize that freely available contraceptives is an amazing way to prevent abortions?

• “PER WIFE PATIENT SAT DOWN ON A SCREWDRIVER AND IT WENT UP HIS RECTUM”

As I’ve seen pointed out, it’s probably only Bruce Johnston and Mike Love that have been asked and are responding as “The Beach Boys”.

I hope the curtain goes up and they all just stand there motionless and glare.

if they want legs, can’t they just get these guys?

Performing songs from his latest joint.

This is me every day.

If only there were a famous DeMarcus Brothers who had a troublesome cousin.

All it needs is a Ghostbusters logo.

That’s the thing a lot of people don’t understand... it’s not a difference of political opinion anymore, it’s an issue of common human decency. And the republicans have shown that they have none - almost every hill they make a stand on is genuinely about keeping the downtrodden down under the boot of the…

John Mulaney was all over this last year, one of my favorite bits of his:

Yeah, he is.

Years ago when I was in the video rental business, I used to go to the annual Video Software Dealers Association conventions, which were generally held in Vegas. I was visiting the restroom one year when Dan Haggerty walked in. He went straight to the mirror, pulled a comb out of his pocket, and proceeded to “comb”…

On the plus side, there will be someone holding a John 3:16 sign in the back of all her press briefings.

“These two members of the Trump Administration were hit with the Stone Cold Stunner” will be a Jeopardy question in twenty years.

Animals eating together is good too!

Matt,