You really think we Americans don't have Royalty? Just because they're untitled doesn't mean we don't have them.

Because the server should have known better. That's a request you nip in the bud table-side.

Someone yelled this at me at a gas station once. A gas station on an interstate highway. Honest to god. From now on I think my response may be "Human Garbage?"

You are wrong. "Snide" is absolutely not the same thing as "Shade."

I was a Friendsgiving dinner with about 20 people one year, and a "new" girl broke out pot chocolate bars. I had a piece, and a female friend had a piece. When it hit it was glorious. I loved it. My friend? Not so much. She completely freaked out, "hid" in the kitchen, which was completely open to the dining room, and…

I like that you're keeping a file on Shrayber.

Yeah, you are. You're trying to tell me how I should interact with my friends. You don't know anything about my relationship with any of my friends who had children, but you felt the need to explain to me how to react and what I should do. Guys "mansplain" at eachother all the time. I didn't ask for your advice. I…

Your mansplaining is getting ridiculous. You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Do I really need to mention that I "took steps" to resolve it? Did I say we weren't friends any more? Should I give you the complete history of our friendship so you can be satisfied that I've acted in the proper, mature, adult way? Gimme a break.

Could you be any more condescending? Jesus. Thank you for explaining how to be an adult.

I didn't say the "pregnancy thing" squicks me out, but thanks for being a dick and making assumptions. My point is that my friend became a one issue friend and could talk of nothing else but her pregnancy. I get that its a big deal in her life, but I still have things going on in my life that are "big deals" too.

Obviously I am not saying this about all friends who get pregnant, but in MY experience those friends tend to turn into one-issue/No-question-asking friends right quick. I am not a parent, nor do I ever plan on being one, and I'm a guy so the whole pregnancy thing is completely over my head, so I can only talk…

That's exactly how he comes off in every interview I've ever watched/heard. He just seems like an all-around great guy.

Me too! Roasted cauliflower is my favorite. So nutty, so delicious!

Because of canned vegetables. I grew up with these dishes, and can confidently assume that my grandmother/mother decided to put cream of mushroom soup on top of green beans because they only ever bought canned green beans, which are disgusting. So, if you only eat canned vegetables you need to figure out a way to make…

And what is wrong with PLAIN green beans

One of my favorite Mexican places (in Chicago) has chile relleno tacos. They are amazing. Chile relleno makes anything better!

That is amazing! A similar (ish) thing happened at my ex's family Thanksgiving several years ago. My ex's sister was recently engaged to her now-husband, and he had invited his parents to ex's family Thanksgiving as a way to introduce the two families. Bit of background: the fiance's family is Lithuanian, but had…

I had a dream last night the plane went down. You were in it.

I have a very serious deal breaker. If he can't make, or understand, Golden Girls references we have no chance. None.