“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a Mallett, to treat everything as if it were a fail.”

He’s resigned himself to trivial truths as he’s never going to be known for solid fibs.

Cowherd’s full rant doesn’t really make him sound any better but it does make Deadspin look a little worse. You could have run the whole clip, still called him a “sourdough fuckboy,” still accused him of sounding like a racist (and been correct). I don’t understand why you cut where you did.

Tarp man tarp what?

There hasn’t been that much ginger on my TV since the last Gilligan’s Island marathon.

They’re the first ones that actually started industrially producing sadness back in the late 1800’s.

The Cleveland of sports nations. National export is Sadness.

This is a reference to Deadspin, isn't it? ISN'T IT?!

He’ll have plenty of time in jail to....

That’s great, man.

I’m not saying they’re the same person, but I’ve never seen that woman and Rajon Rondo in the same room at the same time.

Florida State Quarterbacks gonna Florida State Quarterback.

Canadian knock-knock joke:

Joke’s on them for thinking a Jet will ever carry the Stanley Cup

Cristiano couldn’t have been too upset. It’s not like he had to pass the ball.

It would have made Ronaldo smile, had it not been against his own squad.

Good to see Whitlock hasn’t let the firing keep him down.

Your first Tom Ley article?

Is this a thing we’re doing? Spying on someone else’s personal habits and their use of their own personal devices and making fun of them? The tipster probably fancies himself as being “the greatest thing since sliced bread” for this magnificently insightful, intelligent and relevant post, but I fancy him to be nothing…