You’re a weird guy, Burke.

YOU MISSPELLED NICK FALDO

They’re mostly closeted Englishmen, and the English are a bitter, humourless people.

Of all the shots that have ever been called “unstoppable”, this may be the only one that, by the laws of physics, quite literally is.

Dissent, my friend. That’s your surefire ticket to Deadpsin’s blacklist.

If it makes you feel better (or worse?), none of those guys are approved. Some approved commenter ungreyed my comment (I’m grey as well as you can see, and also banned on Deadspin proper!), which ungreyed the thread down to my comment. Weird system, but you can sort of see the logic.

Hi LegendLives. Could you please let Zach Bigalke and aninconvenientBluth know that all three of you are morons?

Update: He’s next on duty on Monday.

The goalscorer is talking on British radio right now. Here’s a quote:

I just...[rubs forehead]...what the hell are you doing on a sports blog?

Why did I think this was going to say “Bartolo Colon is Dead”?

What an absolute masterstroke from Fernando Santos.

Yeeaaahh this is stupid now, sorry.

.

But mainly that you don’t pray.

Interesting definitions of “great” and “story”.

Now upload the Irish singing the Italian anthem, stat!

So this was rigged, right? I mean, what other explanation could there be for the the casual loitering of the defenders?

You got my hopes up with “nut-huggin”. D-

I can’t stop laughing at this.