If it makes you feel any better, that condo is probably worth $750k now, so everyone got screwed. 

This headline and entire article were written by Mad Libs.

Rivers brought all of his kids to the game.

That’s the sort of sequence that would shake Dalton to his soul if, well, you know....

I’ve...had this friend? I’m so embarrassed now that we were ever “friends.”

Jesus, the Zapruder footage is clearer than this!

You’d think someone would have told the daughter of Richard L. Simon of Simon & Schuster fame about the perils of the publishing industry.

Very nice of them to go shirts and skins to tell them apart in that video apparently taken with a toaster. My kingdom for a pixel.

The racist is the most fragile and insecure snowflake of all.

Dion Waiters is Jimmy Butler minus the whole being good at basketball thing.

“Yes, drop it on his feet. Slower. Slower.”

Let alone, respectively.

i mean he certainly made a comment, that much is clear

“What the fuck? The guy grabs the gun, disarms the wannabe killer and then hugs him? This isn’t the US Amercia we want everyone to live in. It’s not even worth expressing empty thoughts and prayers.”

“Darnold’s Spleen Explodes After Injured Jets Lineman Gives up 11 Brutal Sacks in 1st Quarter” followed by “Bleeding Labrum Lineman & Spleen-less Sam Successful at the Hague: court orders team to give each $50 million a year forever and surrender all draft picks for next 18 years”

It would be difficult for the Jets to look worse here, but I've said that before and been wrong so many times, so let's see how this plays out...

I remember reading an interview with Chris Webber back in the 90's. He said when he was traded from Washington to Sactown as the plane approached Sactown he looked out and saw nothing but farms and empty land, started the cry and called home telling parents he’d rather quit than play there. His mom told him to suck…

Fuck off tomato?