The thing that sucks about teaching (I am married to a teacher) is that it is assumed you will work for free. And they do. They are contracted for a specific number of hours per year, but everyone knows that the number of hours are insufficient for prep, professional development and instruction time. So they work a…

But if Catalonians gain independence what next? Independence for the Basques? For Galicians? For Castillians and the Canary Islands?

Call me stupid, but can’t you just throw a rope over the wall, reach through for the loose end, tie it to one of the columns with a simple bowline knot, pull up the slack and climb that bitch like Batman and Robin?

Yeah, sure, but also fuck the Yankees. 

I believe the real reason Paul Rudd knows so much about the Titanic, is that he was onboard when it sank and managed to make it into a lifeboat. Dude’s immortal.

“Silver does deserve credit for not firing Morey on the spot”

The Chinese are a bunch of bloodsuckers, so they assumed Adam Silver was on their side.

My wife and I have been looking for a spark in the bedroom, and surprisingly it was also Ryan Fitzpatrick. 

“That is great news for the sanctity of the sport.”

I guess we’ll have to take their word for it that Kim Jong Un scored 10 goals, 5 touchdowns, 8 homeruns and 15 wickets.

If someone put these notes up in my office I wouldn’t feel targeted.

You mean because all the Skins players move as though one of their legs is caught in a bear trap?

Me, a Knicks fan:

“I didn’t know NFL teams had homecoming games,” he said. “I thought that was a high school thing.” 

Fans might take the game more seriously if it weren’t being called Snyder-Man: Homecoming

What kind of place must you be in your life to not make this kind of connection? Is there some sort of clinical term for this total lack of ability to reflect upon one’s self? Truly amazing.

LeBron James: [no look] “Pass.”

I hear it’s part of the Uighur re-education curriculum in Xinjiang.

I don’t want to get into a feud with Cognac McCarthy, but I believe he isn’t educated on the situation at hand. And so many people could have been harmed not only financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually. So just be careful what we post and say and we do, even though, yes, we do have freedom of speech, but…

To quote the formerly unflappable Jay-Z