Ted Cruz combines the charisma of a mortician with the political savvy of the kid who wears a suit while running for high school class president.

Oh DAMN.

Ornella is known to be pretty fucking obnoxious (for some reason one of my cousins loves her). So yeah, it was clearly about his weight.

So UCLA doesn’t put much weight on the “Written and Language” part of the SATs? Have fun wasting someone else’s money ladies.

I’m sorry but this must be said:

I would never have responded to her, got to school early, put my shit into the desk next to the window and been laying on the top bunk when that bitch opened the door.

I just wish somewhere on this email chain Ashly had said ‘I didn’t come here to make friends.’

Omg me too! I thought I was gonna have to make my “I will punch every millenial I see if Trump wins” speech.

I’m shocked he’s married to a woman who looks like his mother. Just utterly shocked.

Yes, because it’s not enough for Trump to lose the election; he must lose in a landslide of epic proportions, and drag downticket republicans down with him. Because nothing short of total and humiliating defeat not just for Trump, but for all republicans (who gave rise this phenomenon in the first place by stoking…

I love that within one sentence he says there are people coming from Syria...we have no idea where they are coming from!!!!

Trump: “We are going to stop the tens of thousands of people coming in from Syria. We have no idea who they are, where they come from”

Ow, that dress Gina is wearing in the header photo is giving my boobs sympathy pains.

I guess Flea is more of an Irish Spring man.

It’s true. When HD 164595 sends its little green people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending little green men that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re bringing alien drugs. They’re bringing alien crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good bug-eyed people.

I’m glad to see Gawker still exists after all.

Also, Joseph Fiennes is far too good-looking to play the Commander, as originally written, which isn’t a good sign of a production faithful to the message of the book. I’m going to go out on on a limb here and say that titillation will play a fairly outsized role in a story where this originally had no part.

OT, but I just had a bunch of Jezebel and Gawker sub-blogs follow me and I just wanna say thank you. Is this happening for everyone who survived the Gawkapocalypse? I can comment on The Slot now and not be in the greys!

Most people go through a period, either in high school or college, where they (i) read The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged; (ii) mistakenly assume that they themselves are the Howard Roark/John Galt characters in their worlds; and (iii) act like self-righteous assholes for a while. Then they grow up, recognize the…

Elon Musk, the eccentric, car-loving billionaire whose childhood was famously chronicled in the 2001 Steven Spielberg film A.I