The cats are all like

I know I sound like a complete and total wiener, but I hate tricking animals with food.

Is that really "so many"??

Hes lonely. Its been a tough time since Beth left...

I'm kind of an inept cook, but doesn't a pound cake owe its flavour and texture precisely to the shit-ton of butter you put in it? I mean, as far as I'm aware of it, butter is pretty much the POINT of a pound cake. Can't imagine how it would taste with shortening instead.

Seriously, her food is terrible. I'm not sure why she got a show in the first place.

"Nothing but a mountain of butter that's gotta go somewhere."

"I was actively critical of my then high school and college peers for wasting their reading level on books written for children."

Why do I get the feeling that if a few similar-minded patriots who happened to be Muslims or Arab-Americans tried carrying an armory like this into a fast food restaurant, these "Open Carry Texas" goons would be the first to call the police?

It takes you two sittings to eat an apple? There is something seriously wrong with you. Don't spread your eating disorder all over the internet.

I was starting to read this when my 8 year old walked in. I managed to scroll up so only the feet showed, and she said "is that a rhino? scroll down, I want to see it..."
I said, "there's some Twizzlers in the car... you should go get them!"

You should sell them on Etsy.

Something about how the word ass is vulgar, but also star.

I once shoved a mason jar up my ass and it came out filled with organic blueberry kombucha.

especially when her friend in the picture is clearly wearing a sign that says, "Die, Tumor, Die"?

Swiss Cake Rolls ranked in the 20s? Swiss Cake Rolls ranked in the 20s.

Don't you know? They don't need a special task force for rape because it is so rare. Hardly ever happens. Just women asking for it and lying about it afterwards. *sarcasm*

"I cannot imagine a single one of the men and women I work with violating public trust like that..."

But...by definition, police are supposed to protect and serve. What you call "good cop" stories are SUPPOSED to be the norm, because that is a police officer's goddamn job. Jezebel reports on stories like this because they're NEWS. A police officer that does something heartwarming beyond the call of her/his job is…

I'm looking forward to a calm and polite discussion about this. Articles about breastfeeding, birthing, and child-rearing bring out the best in everyone.