Well, a lot of her food is terrible. But southern food has a way of being both terrible and great. Often at the same time. It's the lands of grits and okra and koolaid pickles. As a southerner, I get it. But I can definitely see how deep fried gizzards and moon pies are not exactly the height of culinary genius.

I was suspect reading that, no lie. But I tried it anyway. :( Waste of a perfectly good 2 cups sugar.

A few years ago, before all this happened, I made her basic pound cake recipe. It used more vegetable shortening than butter. And, while very pretty, tasted like shit. I feel like that experience is representative of her as a human being.

Wait, I've been told by my doctor and a couple of nurses that storing my cell phone in my bra will increase the likelihood that I get breast cancer because it gives off radiation, or something. Is that not true? Can I safely start sticking it back in there? Cause my pants don't have pockets and my purse is too big to…

That's a regret I think we all have.

Nope. They totally look similar and they both have the voice of an angel.

Ariana Grande

I am less concerned about Hunger Games Barbie than I am about the Hunger Games Subway advertising. Seems....inappropriate

Ha! I was thinking Mountain Lion when you said you saw the eyes. I was like 'shit, Dude is gonna get eaten'. Usually by the time you see them they've been tracking you for a while, sometimes days. I'm glad you're safe.

If I tweet Ian Somerhalder 224 times does that mean he will love me? or at least return my facebook messages? I'm sure I've sent at least 70 by now...

I heard from Melanie Botswick in the 5th grade that you could get pregnant from french kissing! She said that's totally how her older sister's best friend's cousin got pregnant.

I think some black humor can be funny. But I think, much like laughing at a funeral, you have to be sensitive to the people around you. I can crack jokes about my own rape, miscarriage, divorce. But you really shouldn't.

I was too. I didn't even bother reading the headline, my mind just focused on the picture. I like your macaron flavor style.

Don't believe anybody else. They're all gifs/pics. Whatever Jez does to pick up the tweet has them formatted wrong. Normally, you'd just click on the little box and BAM you're in gif town.

Mr. Robochester

Dismissive of you? Why, yes. Yes I am.

I'm sorry. Nothing I said is up for debate. You want a one night stand, either be interesting enough to merit one or hire a pro. Troll somebody else, mmmkay?

If I had the power to ungrey you, I wouldn't even respond. But fuck it.