Now that she’s got the diploma, she should teach a master class on looking that good at 100. NO JOKE.

He should have hit him with a chair.

I bet Ryan will be really impressed with himself when he reads this.

That was for the re-run. The post here notes that they’ll get lane 1 or lane 8 in the finals because they didn’t finish in the top 3 of their heat.

If they knew it was a lie, why didn’t they all jump on a plane when Ryan did and hightail it out town? Thank goodness for them there’s a ton of press because this could have turned out very “Midnight Express.”

I’m beginning to wonder if the foundation of Bolt’s incredible speed came from a few thousand attempts to run away from home.

I’ve never been one to get super excited about the Olympics. But this lady has convinced me to kick back, throw on some khakis, tuck in my Target employee polo, arm myself with kitchen utensils, and enjoy the show.

DAMN, Jamacian parents are a tough crowd. Russell Peters wasn’t kidding.

It’s not called a “stain”. It’s called “bane of Plaxico”.

Poor guy. Now he may have to suffer the indignity of the cone for a couple of weeks so he doesn’t chew off the bandage.

Oddly, Brady had just narrowly avoided injury while using a gun to remove a stain from his pants.

Accurate representative of an overaged frat bro feeling entitled to pee on a dude’s wall, because the people there seem poor.

Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

Well, Lochte might not be a good representative of America, but at least he’s an accurate one.

failed to hand the baton to English Gardner.’

Eh, wouldn't be surprised if a lot of murders in Rio aren't included in that stat.

I’m only defending him and the other US swimmers because it seems ridiculous that Brazil should try to retain them in their country when they seemingly did nothing wrong and if anything, appear to be victims of a crime.

What NBC wants you to think Rio is like...

Let’s revoke their passports too. Obviously they are lying. Rio is a safe and beautiful city.