Thank Christ those hateful little girls didn't grow up reading about Abraham and Isaac.

Girl #1: Has the Angel shown up yet?
Girl #2: Nope.
Girl #1: Welp, let's just keep on stabbing until It does appear.

Do you remember when we used to dance
And incidence arose from circumstance
One thing lead to another we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung

"I think I've made a terrible mistake ..."

"If I can change ... and you can change ... then we all can change."

No, idiot. Go home. They mean Christmas-ish.

And by "Holiday Season", I hope they mean 4th of July?

This.

Time your shots while they are corning and planning on hopping and BAM!

You ... just ... didn't understand ME!!!

"I can't possibly play Mario Kart 8 now because someone presses the jump button after a power slide. It offends all matters of right, wrong, decency, honor, duty. You may as well have fucked my sister. In church. Nintendo, please accept this final gesture in lieu of asking for a refund."

Is it available to everyone? Yes.

It is easy to learn? Yes.

/Not a game killer.

No Tool Time joke?!?

For shame.

"I want you to hold a tray of appetizers above your head for 2-3 hours."
"I want you to dress like an idiot."
"I want you to do it for free."

LOLZ.

3. Orashington. I want Washington and Oregon to join forces so that we have a firm border for the nation's most insufferable people. "I foraged for these fiddlehead ferns behind my partridge coop."

I hope someone ruins the pleats in your khakis, dick.

Between this and the Soul Suspect review, I'm having a really hard time not saying, "Fuck it" and selling my Xbox One.

For cheap.

Like Reno hooker cheap.

That beetle story blew my mind.

Fucking opinions, how do they work?

Who am I supposed to believe - you or Rich?

This looks straight out of The Sims: Sadness Edition.

What kind of resolution is that?!? Are you playing on a Verizon flip phone???

Ya'll need to buy this:

Just build one massive permanent stadium for the Winter Olympics and have them in the same place every 2 (4?) years.

Like Nairobi.