"The concept is my baby, "

If two horses want to marry each other, they should have the barn wedding of their dreams.

Is hair elastic those things women put in their hair to tie it up? Because — yes — I find those damn things on just about every flat surface in my house. They usually have bits of long hair attached to them, which only makes it worse.

Psh, as a real man I use the head of a nail to clean my ears.

Yeah, but it was the kid's liquor.

I heard there was this woman who ordered a single plum floating in perfume and served in a man's hat.

Good God. I think I'll stay a boy.

I don't know what breakthrough bleeding is, but it sounds like a horrible thing. Anyway, glad you're doing better now.

I prefer Busty St. Claire or Chesty LaRue.

For some time I've wondered why my girlfriend frequently complained of nausea. I've never seen or heard of anyone having this problem as often as she did. Then she just recently stopped taking birth control pills — orthotrisomethingorother — for an unrelated reason and she says her nausea is gone. Says she's never…

That's why I changed my name to Max Power.

IMELDA replies:

"Female man cave"???

Nice tumbling — or whatever — but I'm not sure that pitch was from regulation distance.

If Saban ever loses more than two games in a season they'll be sprinting toward him with torches and pitchforks.

You beat me to it. Of course, it might have been a mercy killing.

Yes, Cable Companies Suck, But Don't Pull a Gun on Their Employees

I'll bet I can name one person who didn't get an iPad invitation. Come on, man!

Tomato, to-mah-to.

Aren't you precious.