Fake news. Joe West has never lost his appetite.

Why does your playlist include TMBG’s “Istanbul” but not “Constantinople”?

How about “Buell”?

You don’t get demoted and stick around, do you? Seems like it’s about time for Doc to quit, go back to TBS for a season and let people still think you’re a decent coach.

No fucking shit. That’s not what the guys wants to do - he fucked up, bought a car he doesn’t want for whatever reason, and now he’s trying to get out with as little a hit as he can. People make mistakes. Telling him to suck it up and hold onto the thing for fifteen years is pretty far from helpful.

You realize that when you donate an old car, you can take a deduction for it’s current market value, right? Not what you paid for it fifteen years ago?

I saw a “Dacia Torchinski” listed online for $200. Crack pipe all day.

Yadda yadda... there’s lots of guaranteed money in the NFL, it just all comes on the day the contract is signed rather than being spread out over sixteen guaranteed game checks. If they started receiving fully-guaranteed three-year contracts, there wouldn’t be any money up-front, just like there so rarely are…

I don’t quite understand how you can watch a sport like this and still feel OK about yourself as a person.

It takes me like, three minutes, TOPS, to empty out the dishwasher. Just fucking do it.

Jeff George and Jake from State Farm.

I still wonder what the Celtics might have offered for George, after they had landed Hayward. Certainly, the Lakers/Kings pick seems like it would have been available, so they could throw an IT/PG/Hayward/Horford combo at Cleveland/Golden State.

The lights and the indicators sticking out from the front wheel make it look an awful lot like a turtle penis. But I’m guessing you knew that already.

QUICK! Somebody call Torch! We’ve figured out the “Cars” origin story!

The difference is that Ainge isn’t constrained by some artificial “process.” “The Process” basically thinks the only way to build a team is through the draft. He’s never been afraid to gamble on players in tough situations, or that might be a little controversial, if they’re talented and the cost is cheap. He got IT…

You talking about the guy who just traded Markelle Fultz as being terrified?

For the Celtics, Porzingis - especially because Gordon Hayward’s out there this summer and the C’s should have room for a max deal. I know there have been rumblings about how he’s hesitant to play with IT, but I think IT (especially coached by Stevens) is more malleable than he gets credit for. A team with IT in the…

In a cocaine heartbeat. IDEALLY with the Lakers/Kings pick, maybe toss something else in to get that done) so you can still snag Jackson at #3 (you’re going to need someone who can at least slow down LeBron). Gotta think Hayward would be interested in coming aboard, unless he’s a TOTAL ass.

C’s trade the #3 overall pick for Porzingis, which is enough to convince Hayward to sign a max contract in the summer. Is it too early to dream?

He wasn’t wrong; it was the classic “reverse jinx!”