Didn’t want to fork over the co-pay, huh? 

“Also I would’ve had solid gold teeth, none of this wood crap.”

That’s the perfect expression for someone who had to fuck Donald Trump.

Trump bodied Biden’s campaign with a single tweet and that dipshit is still gonna run.

Didn’t the guy running this scam tell the parents “Make sure your kids act like stone cold dumb dumbs during exams”? Wouldn’t that seem a little odd to Olivia?

“...you have the right to own something that won’t someday prove regrettable.”

“I thought the criminal justice system was perfect in 99.9 percent of the situations.”

Ahhhhh this world is a nightmare I just need to wake up oh god why can't I wake up

You’re right, in my America they would just execute the black man.

So do you guys prefer your bribes in American currency or is Bitcoin sufficient?

Or thirteen beers.

I bet Johnny Manziel tried to join the league so they just pretended to go bankrupt.

“I already promised it to the hot dog guy, sorry bro.”

Lemon turned 8 today!

What a time to be alive!

Re-reading the Underworld USA trilogy for probably the tenth time. All the books are being released in hardcover in June, I am excited.

He hasn’t deleted it yet lol

So "shoulder soreness" is the elite athlete equivalent of "food poisoning"? 

He's definitely a front runner for this year's Roberto Alomar Trophy.

FanSided more like BlindSided el o el