“We have a high standard,” Jones said.

Philadelphia Eagles Twitter Account Run By Shameless Biter

Holy shit, put the email that’s just a subject line in the Hall of Fame.

That guy from the Hawks is REALLY into watching strangers kiss.

Such a dick headline lol

I bet he bought that coat at Paul Manafort's garage sale.

Woooow that is a Unabomber level screed there.  Apparently baseball blogging is Serious Business.

The two guys that host that show seem like the kind of brothers that like to kiss each other on the lips.

Is that what simonizing is? 

‘That player said a more level, a more even emotional approach would have been preferred.’

I’m drunk.

Lack of customers yet somehow an excess of pubes.

Give Sloth Lady and Fake Accent Woman their own mismatched buddy cop show called Barbie & Three Toes.

Mike Pence looks like a stick of deodorant that someone taught to wince.

“Wow, that sure is funny! Please keep reading tweets out loud to me as I am very interested in them!”

“No sir! No sir! No sir! No sir! No sir! No sir!”

Wow, you seem to know a lot about kicking. Have you thought about trying out for the NFL?

For a second, I thought this was a stealth marketing campaign for Law & Order.

Wasn’t this pud JUST invited to the Deadspin awards like a month ago? 

“...as well as the new GTE Financial Party Deck.”