*at the Palace

I was reading the oral history on the Malice in the Palace for the hundredth time and the best part, by far, is afterwards when Ron Artest was asking his teammates, with total seriousness, if they were gonna get in trouble for what happened.

Yes hello I am here for job.

Or at least sign her TO the team. I mean, she can dunk.

I bet Nasser considered writing an amendment allowing him to sexually abuse athletes without any repercussions until he looked around and realized that no one was gonna bother him anyways.

Well you’re in luck Nowakowski, because these scams NEVER strengthen the local economy.

I bet Nassar still has an assigned parking space at the USOC.

Normally $100, on sale today for $100!

“...that somehow involve no judging.”

“But I had to go to the bathroom. I’m sorry if that makes me a bad guy.”

Well he certainly can’t TOS the ball in the hoop, that’s for sure.

I bet Alex Smith gets on the field before Kaepernick.

Todd Bowles:

They weren't hazed, they were KGB'd.

Big deal. My wife’s been holding out since the early days of George W’s presidency.

I'd like to see something horrible happen to that shithead hotel employee who told the victim "That's what you get for being a slut." 

You can’t teach grit like that.  That's all instinct.

Unless Roger gets hit by a meteor mid-match, probably not.

At one point, one of the cops said something like "Twitter isn't the only social media, y'know."