What does this mean for his wife's reality TV prospects??!

“Bit-O-Honey ran a good campaign even though he lost to Ted Cruz.”

I told my wife that if there isn't a Trumpy bear under the tree this year, I'm filing for divorce on 12/26.

IT’S FUKKEN HELLA SWEET IS WHAT IT IS

As a Jets fan, this game is like watching the Holocaust in HD.

He’s more of a bowler, I guess.

Also found at the Karolyi Ranch? The missing footage from the Zapruder film, ballots from the 2000 presidential election and that blue necklace from "Titanic".

Why hasn't Papa John just started a new pizza company, like with Famous Ray's and Original Famous Ray's? 

Heh heh...shuttlecock.

“Hi - We can’t speculate about what people do or do not say. Thanks.”

Counterpoint: LaVar Ball is a REALLY terrible dad.

“...it’s primarily a moneymaking concern that exchanges diplomas for sports service...”

Baffling. He has a sweet 'stache and everything!

If they had knocked out Duke, I would've paid for the banner myself.

Small town America was always a myth. They're just as dumb and racist as anyone else in this country.

If these dumb fucking rubes want to vote Trump/Republican, have at it. Enjoy your inevitable bankruptcies and opioid overdoses, assholes. You won’t be missed.

All those creepy pictures of Gun Girl are taken by her dad, by the way.

I love the number of submissions in this feature from people who don’t know how to change the default signatures on their mobile devices.

More like Tic-Tac-Dope, AMIRITE?