For years, women have been pounding on the glass ceiling. With similar results.

Oh please, watch me play the world's smallest violin.

Tom, it's called the Cactus League for a reason.

FINNISH HER!

Let's be honest, 70% of Congress could fold tomorrow + nobody would notice a difference w/ possible exception of increase in passed legislation.

Never forget the triple head-shot

I just made a Bloody Mary with Sriracha and BASIL, you guys. Let's do this. Get on with your bad selves.

Aw, look at all the Little Caesars.

If he isn't drafted, chalk it up to the NFL's non-prophet status.

I have no idea if that Star Wars quote at the end is this guy's email signature, or if he just thought that would be the perfect zinger to end his scathing rant with.

Morse: -.. . . .—. / .-. .. —. .... - / -.-. . -. - . .-.

"No, it's not."

NOPE TIME FOR BASEBALL

The Astros will be largely exempt from the new rule.

I think the outdoor training was based on an expectation of the Sochi venue's roof collapsing.

But does it help them protect this house?

Nice to see Jay Leno getting work so soon after leaving The Tonight Show.

That was nice of Dwight Howard.

-1 For blown "Peyton's neck" joke opportunity. It was right there!!