“The heavy hand of government.”

“Diddy broke down his love philosophy almost like a business deal, essentially explaining that he’s 25% an asshole.”

Why is this so fucking hard to get right? I was just at Comicon in Boston this weekend. It was 60/40 women, easily. Roughly 92% of the women in attendance were dressed up in cosplay. Roughly 99% of the men threw on a t shirt and called it good.

Yes, at times.

I saw them once, they were doing things in a place.

I hope I die doing what I love. And I hope someone cleans all the pizza off my face before the coroner arrives.

I’d bet lunch on it being a heart condition, or something where his weight rendered him immobile.

Shit, I’d give up after five minutes. It never takes more than three. Also, I don’t think I’d want to be pounded for 15 minutes, never fucking mind 150. No thanks.

In the history of dads, this is the daddest dad who ever dadded. This dad is dadding so fucking hard right now.

A clit that vibrates itself? Link your Kickstarter, I want to give you literally all of my money.

A pooping Tomagotchi is a healthy Tomagotchi! This just proves that Orlando Bloom is fit to make babies with.

Ok I’m SO team Bey I want to have her Beybey but look. The J necklace isn’t a J. It’s Rita’s “r” necklace in a photo that’s been flipped.

Health is important? Jesus Christ, Usher. Thank God you’re here.

It’s a masterpiece.

I said “ I think” dickbreath, and I was agreeing with something one of the bloggers said. I didn’t pull anything out of my ass. If I do, though, I’ll be sure to fucking throw it at you. :)

Hell. Yes.

I think it is a divorce announcement, like only Beyonce could make an announcement.

Who the fuck is this housewife bitch? “I would never LET myself be a victim” fuck you, you stupid cunt.

Brilliant! I’m stealing it to use forever.

Hehe.